LIFE AFTER HEARTBREAK
I am sorry to hear that you’ve been dumped, played, cheated on. Whatever happened in your relationship, you feel like your heart had been ripped out of your chest and broken into a million pieces. You curse the day you met the person who is now causing you so much pain and distress. You don’t know what to do next.
Here’s a survival guide for all those of you who are checking into the Heartbreak Hotel. First and foremost, you are allowed a few days to heal. Head over to your local grocery store wearing your pajamas and buy a gallon of your favorite ice cream, or rent that sappy romantic movie that makes you ball your eyes out even though you have already seen it about a dozen times. You are allowed to break down and let your frustrations out. You are allowed to curse and feel all the rage, confusion, anger and sadness you have bottled up in you.
Next, you need to realize that it’s not you, it’s them. They did you wrong, they played with your heart, but what goes around comes around. Believe that, it will help you heal. Realize your self-worth and stop blaming yourself. The blame will not get you anywhere productive. No matter what went wrong, it’s done and over with. It is time to start thinking about moving on with your life.
Here is another useful short term remedy for when you are still in your mourning phase. Listen to songs that make you feel good about yourself. Carrie Underwood – Before He Cheats, anyone? Well, you get the point.
Let go completely. No more phone calls or text messages. No more hanging on to the notion that maybe, just maybe, they will change their mind and come back to you. And even if that happens, even if you receive that phone call from them, why would you want to go back to them anyway?
If you are still feeling the urge to make that phone call, call a friend instead. Talk it out with someone who is willing to listen. You might be surprised to find out that other people have had similar experiences with having their heart broken in the past. It is important to have the support system in a time when you are feeling most vulnerable.
Immerse yourself in work. Concentrate on an aspect of your life that makes you feel good about yourself, whether it is your work, your studies, or your hobbies. Do not attempt to start dating right after you have had your heart broken. You are most likely not anywhere near ready to start dating. Be just to yourself and to your potential new love interest. You do not want to bring in unfinished business, drama, and bottled-up emotions into a new relationship. Give yourself time to heal in order to someday be able to start a healthy relationship.
Do not allow yourself to sulk in your own self-pity. It is a common statement that many of us have heard or said to ourselves, “What do I do now that I am single? I find myself bored and with nothing to do.” Do not fall into this trap of passivity and idleness. Find yourself a new hobby to do, be it ballroom dancing or scuba diving. These activities will not only help you forget about your loneliness but will also help you develop your own sense of self. You will find out who you are and how you can survive being on your own.
It takes time to get back to normalcy. It is a gradual and lengthy process, but like a wound that heals with time, so will your heart. Molding a negative experience, such as heartbreak, into something positive is the ultimate challenge. How we deal with heartbreak can shape our outlook on life and how we deal with other aspects of our life. So, let the healing process begin!