Nobody Wins a Quarrel
by Promise Chika Wonodi. Mirriam Webster Dictionary defines Quarrel as“An angry argument or disagreement.”Cambridge Dictionary also defines it as“An angry disagreement between two or more people or groups.”From these two definitions and many othersOne word is decimal and a common denominator –ANGER (“angry argument”, “angry disagreement”)Because we are all differentWith different trainings and orientationsWe would […]
by
Promise Chika Wonodi.
Mirriam Webster Dictionary defines Quarrel as
“An angry argument or disagreement.”
Cambridge Dictionary also defines it as
“An angry disagreement between two or more people or groups.”
From these two definitions and many others
One word is decimal and a common denominator –
ANGER (“angry argument”, “angry disagreement”)
Because we are all different
With different trainings and orientations
We would definitely disagree
We would definitely have arguments
There’s nothing wrong with disagreements and arguments
It is a process of learning
It’s even an art
We could have formal, intellectual, legal arguments, disagreements, etc
But quarrelling – angry disagreement or arguments
Is obviously not the practice of the wise
Why would any wise person wait
Leave or push an issue or matter
To the point where it degenerates into an angry argument or disagreement?
A point where you’re in a fist of out-talking the other person/s
A point where everyone talks without listening to the other person
A point where you expend your time –
Your most valuable asset, foolishly!
In an unfruitful and unreasonable conversation – quarrelling!
A total waste of time – a waste of life!
The Bible clearly admonishes that quarrelling is an occupation of fools (Ecl 7:9 & Prov 18:13)
Just like war
Avoid a quarrel or quarrelling at all cost
For nobody wins a quarrel
You may out-talk the other person/s
But you may loose a friend, a partner, a colleague or family
Or even a life-line tomorrow
Because you couldn’t wait to be in a frenzy and war of words today
Some words, like the flames of war, die hard
Some emotional wounds festered by our words
In those short moments of fatal verbal missiles
Leave an indelible eternal damage
Like an atomic weapon,
Some souls never recover from the degenerative damages and depletions of the atomic toxins
Of those hurtful and dangerous words
Spoken in rage and a flip of anger
It is outright foolishness to take this route
Yes, it is foolhardy to quarrel as a norm
When we can sit down and have a reasonable conversation
Where I listen to you and you listen to me
And we deal with the issue as an issue
Learn from it and make progress
For that relationship to succeed and excel
Communication is key!
No insults! No hurtful words!
You must be intentional with your choice of words
And always apologize when the other person feels hurt
But it begins with listening – listening attentively!
Never assume anything!
Whenever you’re in doubt, ASK!
And be patient enough to hear the other person/s
Get the facts before answering
If the intention is to have a better and beautiful relationship
Then wisdom is profitable to direct
If it’s working for me
It will work for you!
Even the Almighty God says,
“Come now, let us reason together…’
God bless you!
