Why Ladies Should Avoid Dating Married Men
By Nina Farewell
The most unsatisfactory lover in the world is the man who has a wife. A liaison with him is encumbered with all the customary inconveniences of a love affair, plus the irritation of having a rival who outranks you.
In every aspect of your relationship with him, you feel her influence. The very hours you spend with him are dictated by her tastes and her schedule. If she loves a gay social life, you can be sure her husband will seldom be at your disposal in the evening you must content yourself with odd hours during the day. If she is the athletic type, it is unlikely you will ever get to go sailing, fishing, or golfing with him. Whatever her habits, you must at all times be prepared for the sudden cancellation of a carefully planned rendezvous and equally prepared for an unexpected message that he is free ~ just when it is least convenient for you.
You have no choice but to zig when she zags, and zag when she zigs. And heaven help you if she is a woman who frequently changes her mind!
Of one thing you can be sure ~ your lover will not spend Christmas, New Year’s, or Easter Sunday with you. All the important dates on the calendar belong to his wife and children, and you will be forced to celebrate with relatives or female friends ~ a sad prospect for a lively girl. Manless amid the festivities, you will look about indignantly at other women proudly displaying their escorts.
When you do get together, your married beau, with recommendable caution, will rule out all the nice places to which you ask to be taken, and you will pass the time tucked away in some little room or in your own apartment. This has the value of being economical as well as discreet ~ important considerations for a family man. . . .
The most cogent argument against having an affair with someone else’s husband is that Married men virtually never marry their girlfriends.
Men hate divorce. They dislike the nuisance of moving, and besides, they resent paying alimony. If a man can possibly endure his wife, he will stay married to her.
In any event, the fact that a man takes a sweetheart does not indicate that he prefers the sweetheart to his wife. Not at all. Ninety times out of a hundred he would be aghast at the idea of trading his good old wife for some wanton stranger.
Can a girl really be happy with the humble assignment of amusing a man who belongs to someone else?
Then what induces her to become part of such a makeshift arrangement? I put this question to a number of women who are involved with married men. Most of them whimpered “I didn’t know he was married until it was too late.” Some, however, were quite unabashed. “There are not enough good men to go around”, they explained… “All the best ones are taken…” And they “would rather scrimp along on a fragment of some superior male than own an ordinary one outright and in his entirety”.
A handful of girls confessed they were lazy and rather than try for a single man, they chose to eke what pleasure they could from the more easily acquired married one. Such lack of ambition is lamentable. I am glad to report that the average girl considers her married lover but a stopgap and is constantly on the lookout, hoping to better herself.
There was one girl, however, who claimed she actually preferred sharing some other woman’s husband to having one of her own. “A wife”, she declared, “has the burden of taking care of his household and his petty needs. To her fall the menial tasks of seeing to his sox and his shirts, his meals, and his stomach aches, and all the other drab day-to-day chores of making him comfortable. Happy and well fed he comes to me for his lighter hours. I get the best of him-the playmate, the sweetheart, the lover”
Obviously, this is a rationalization. In her heart of hearts every woman longs for the sox and the shirts. If you settle for less, you will always feel cheated.